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getting ready to go to the club

i was so worried about this funeral
i can't go
its going to be way to hard
all of this is to hard
i cant deal with any of it
i cried in class today
i hate when people feel bad for me
now i have to go to my m,w,f class and cry in there
and my paper is due friday which is the day i will be missing

someone told me that the funeral was to pay your respects but you can do that without going to the funeral
i have decided i can't go
everyone else is having a hard time with this and is still going i know
but this is how i deal with things
i stay locked in a house baking and doing lots of homework and never stopping to give my self a chance to think about anything
i want to call aaron to see what he has heard about the the story since he lives in farmington near the offsets (where he died)
but aaron is a dick head and will be a dick head on the phone even if i am crying
i hate everything
i have to close everyday this week
and i don't know why but everytime i am there all i can think about is everything that sucks in life
maybe thats because everything in life sucks
its not even worth it anymore